Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Scary Movies are Dead


Not nearly as scary as Helicopter Zombie.

(Starting out again in John McCain Mode)
My friends...I've been to 'Nam, I've been to Congress, look at my wife...I've seen some scary shit. What's left of Hollywood doesn't scare me. {cue applause}

Perhaps it's the socio-homogenization of our culture that Hollywood, seeking to emulate and/or please makes a weak movie. Maybe there are no true emotions left to tap that we are left with sheer amplitude, of reaction that has replaced fear.
Boy am I jaded, and misogynistic. Probably a few of you chose to see Cloverfield expecting it to be just another Day Of The Douchebags. You'd be right.
Quite frankly, Hollywood should stick to Jud-Apatow projects until he's completely drained of ideas because he may be the last screenwriter who understands how people talk. The necessity of disaster films post-9/11, either by replication of the actual event, or emulation of the experience of the camera-wielding hipsters running through crumbling skyscrapers is a pertinent question.
One thing they did get right. In the midst of an impending apocalyptic frenzy, one's first priority should be to preserve the lives of as many pretty girls as possible. Gotta repopulate the planet, right? Or space station...Area 51..whatever you got.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Who hasn't done a Tom Waits Cover in their life?


Jezebel has compiled the majority of reviews for Scarlett Johansson's album of Tom Waits' more obvious and accessable cover material. I think, considering the increasingly shorter chances of consistent cinematic success, it's a good career move. Obviously she wants some kind of hipster cred, and crappy non-pixar films and countless magazine covers don't get that done.

My review after one song: "Her voice is flat, unlike her AMPLE BOSOM!!!!"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Paying one's respects to a departed artist

Robert Rauschenberg, recently deceased, is one of the great American Modern artists of our time. Within the medium of which we view his art, in museums, galleries, etc. it would not be appropriate to pay our respects like one would do so in the streets. Say when John Lennon, and Kurt Cobain died, there were public vigils, candles lit, flowers, pictures and memorials laid out.
In a museum if you lay anything before a piece or try to slip a note underneath, you'd be hauled and and charged with vandalism.
So today, I propose a new tribute. If you are in proximity to an artist's works, as I was today, write him a little note, like so:

Respect.