Monday, January 21, 2008

Admit it folks, Bin Laden's hot


Omar Bin Laden and wife, Jane

Yes, we're talking about the most demonized name on this planet. But seeing him, i know what your'e thinking. He's got good skin, if he'd just shave most of that nasty beard off and remove that dusty turban, he'd be OK. Lovely olive skin tone, dark eyes, strong Romanesque nose...what's not to like?

And here he is ladies, the Metrosexual version of the world's most wanted man. (Sorry, he's taken!!)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Let me take a moment to show my age.


The battle for the statement of "Music is my life" broads a clear divide between mature adults and juveniles. To adults, musical appreciation comes after decades of following one's acquired taste, retaining and disposing of material intrinsic to one's formative identity. To the young and impressionable, a song can come out of nowhere, hit you and your friends like a ton of bricks, and radically effect your dress, your speech, your attitude, your social compact.

I first heard of Souljah Boy yesterday, seeing the video for "Report Card" for 30 seconds before dinner and thought Rap music hit a new low. Apparently this is not a minority opinion. But with the record industry in the toilet and music being relegated to something your set up a cell phone ring tone with, this is the pantheon of the medium???

This guy has sold 3 million LEGAL downloads for Crank That, not much better a tune as any.

Just to reflect, I'm sadenned for people. Not to sound superior, I was once a Heavy Metal Cheesewad festooned with Pentagrams and such and thought all quality music was played loud and fast, with Satanic themes, and I don't think I even learned to dress properly until my mid 30s. And I know the NFL/MLB/NBA merchandising is big coin, it looked bad 20 years ago when logos were cheesier and you just had hats, shirts and warmup jackets in sizes S-XXXL, but now it's getting out of control.
And the music itself, which I've heard maybe 45 seconds of, is far from Chuck D levels of intelligence.

Sigh, I should just change the channel on my Yuppie-digital tube and that God I'm not a substitute teacher.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Now it makes total sense to me!


I really do hope it's true. Britney's not the next Anna Nicole, she's the next Cat Stevens!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

How I Spent the 1990s

Here's a clip of a little band called HUGE, live at the Pool Bar (Formerly a basement room @Broadway & Bleeker Sts. NYC) My first rock n' roll band. I've had this video for years, but the singer, Gregg, who has been in Hollywood for a dozen years or so, encoded and posted it on YouTube for your eternal pirated enjoyment.

This Has Got To Stop

I'd be holding my opinion about the latest Britney meltdown to concentrate on topics of greater importance, as you've been (fortunate to be) reading so far. (Fortunately) I had proximity to said political candidate's rallies to experiment with such narrative. However, now I'm just one of a million spouting their dirty dishwater, reacting to the latest trashtastic news of the walking sewer of our vainglorious dreams, Miss Spears.
As big a PerezHilton.com reader I am, I don't mind that he's made a bunch of money despite his lousy taste in music, I draw the line here:

as much as I enjoy getting up righteous indignation at the expense of Brit, I can say without equivocation that I would prefer it very much if she would die and "get it over with".
Perhaps taking her act any further would be an unprecedented effrontery to the dignity of  human character. The overexposure of this individual is so unnecessary, but the coverage is such that media outlets cannot seem to stop covering her, try as Jack Cafferty might protest.
  I just am not looking for the happy ending for Spears, because I know it's going to be on the cover of Melodrama Today, and like everything else Disney, Hollywood & the Spears Machine in general, it is deceitful, corrupt and tawdry bullshit, sanitized for your protection.

Just to clarify, I like tales of debauchery, drug abuse and death before one's time. Great geniuses have lived their lives this way. Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Belushi, Cobain, Farley. The list goes on. The script for Brit reads recovery, read all about it. I suppose it's a matter of time, but it just sickens me how people are cashing in on her from both sides. 

In related news, Britney's friend and Best sycophant Ali Simms failed to secure a deal for a reality show centered around her, hopefully ending her divined career entertaining us.

Postmortem & Preview


Much has happened in the week since I'm back from Des Moines. Huckabee and Obama won their respective victories in the Iowa caucus, and tonight is the New Hampshire Primary.  My "coverage" of the candidate's campaign stops was good exercise for me, and I'm still following the campaign closely.
It is incredible that phantom candidates are still being mulled about by some overspeculative, currying wonks. So nice to have a baker's dozen to choose from, so could we please stop talking about Mike Bloomberg, Lou Dobbs and say... Duncan Hunter? Please, lets be realistic, folks.

CHANGE???
The buzzword of '08 already, on everyone's lips. Seems like Obama provides the most easily digestible formula, that some Conservatives are listening to. Whether this is Republican strategy to push forth a weaker Democratic candidate remains to be seen. Nothing has changed, from the widespread hatred of all things Clinton to all non tru-Conservative inconsistency nee Romney. McCain doesn't posses these qualities either, but NH is his playground.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Joe Biden Event

Ottumwa, Iowa 1/2/08 12:30 PM

Messed up directions W/E. Found the tiny school.
Nice crowd of 100 or so. We want Joe!
Old school amplification meets lav. mike.
Hair more natural, balding, but still a charmer
None since FDR will do as much
I've been a broken record on Pakistan. Much is secondary with him.
Senator Biden to Slobodan Miosevic, no press :"I think you're a darn war criminal"
I got things done.
I didn't know you were Catholic! Is waterboarding in the Bible?
I've forgotten more about fighting terror than Giuliani will ever know.
Sounds like Fred Willard
I will do my best to embarrass both parties.

Huck N' Chuck Event

Val Air Ballroom, West Des Moines 1/1/08 7:30 PM

Temp's down to 9 Fahrenheit
The Boogiewoogies are rockin' the Huckanuts w/ some Zydeco & Blues
They're running wild, oops, someone blamed the media
Are "We" still beating on you, Mike?
Huck supports vandalism. Look up Isaiah: look to the rock.
44th AK gov wants to be The Big #44
Train our replacements; is that what "traditional marriage" is about?
Oilarchies: we don't need your sand.
We will go to the caucus having been on our knees
Chuck: I'm a corporate leader
TV News guy did live comparison of Chuck Norris to Oprah.
Quite the Wrangler guy, wife looks like Coulter
Janet H. in Tartar coat.. then behold: HUCKABASS!!
Sweet Home Ala Cream P-Bass w/ bridge plate & tortoise shell
American made I should hope. Thumb it!
Too much bass in the mix. What is this, a Capitol Offense?
Like a club band stiff-legged drunk
If this was a 60's club band, they'd be called The Dress-Kasuals.
Gonna need more than a sweater/suit jacket combo to fight the cold air at the Norris Texas Jam/Fundraiser.
Scary chants, then the definitive version of Roll Over Beethoven guaranteed to stay in your head well past the actual caucus.
Tell Tchaikovsky the news.

NOTE: John Edwards did a rally the next night at the same ballroom with John Mellencamp performing. Way out-drew this event. With all respect.

What I did on my off-day

As if this is work. While all my friends are doing the actual filing from their respective hotel rooms, I explored frozen Iowa as Joe Schlub, man on the street.
In this clever guise, I drove to Ankeny, to the Fridley Theater to see Walk Hard; The Dewey Cox Story. I love cheap laughs and Apatow, Reilly & gang provided mucho, plus Jenna Fisher. Meow.
Later, in AHL action, the Iowa Stars defeated the Houston Aeros at the Wells Fargo Arena 5-4.
Still later, the crew assembled at Dos Rios in Centre Square for a New Years Melange of margaritas and excess. For me, viewers, things went a little too far. Use your imagination.
Happy New Year, even though it's now Thursday, Jan 3rd. 

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Fred Thompson Event


Ames, Iowa 12/30/07 12:30pm Olde Main Brewing Co.

Sweet, Clean & vast cafe, excellent for a Football Brunch

Fred's fake tan looked great on CNN this morn.

Suits galore, must be the true conservative dress code

Man 1: Are you a Tancredo refugee?

Man 2: Yep, this may be the place to land

Intercepted: Suggested talking points sheet for caucuser-aid

more Mellencamp

How many ways can you incorporate America/USA into a song?

Quite a bus tour

The deliniated powers are just that

Pace n' jab, searching n' pundating

Orates like he's on the phone

When I was in the Senate...Condi called me up,said get some votes

The China Commission

That's who I am, that's where I've been, that's what I believe

Old Timer talkin' about Welfare recipients suckin' on the fat cow

Some judges decided same sex marriage is constitutional

Those on the left want to expand the social safety net, that's where the votes are

Patent holders ought to be encouraged to invent and invest.

We're a nation of Manhattan projects..60% dependent on foreign oil

Can ya beat Hillary? Like a drum!

Got fire in the belly? People are so personally invested in becoming president. (Sheesh!)

How bad do you want a candidate to want it? (hmmm)

Has something to do with having sound judgement

I will be the same common sense strong conservative person.


That may be so, I don't think he will be president though. Probably won't lose much sleep over it.